Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Can't believe he is almost 2!

Well, Jack will be 2 in a couple weeks. I can't believe how fast time has gone by.  I think about how much life has changed.  How much he has changed.  I remember holding him that 1st night in the hospital and how crazy in love I was instantly.  Nothing has changed.  I am utterly in love with my son.

No matter how many crazy curve balls life has thrown, the one ball that came my way and I caught with ease was being a mom.  I have always known that I wanted to be a mother and I wouldn't trade it for anything - even if I do have to navigate parenthood alone.  I know that I was meant to be Jack's mom and he was meant to be my son.  So much has changed since he was born - June 22, 2009 - 4:51 pm.  I was married then, I had a different job, lived in a different house, and life was a little more predictable.  I know that the things that have happened over the past year are for the best for both me and Jack.  And I know that every morning when I wake up I get to do the most wonderful thing - be a mom.  I love greeting him each morning, cuddling and making pancakes, playing with him, singing silly songs, dancing, and getting ready for bed each night.  Being single/ alone is hard, but not having Jack would be impossible.  Each night we read a couple books, sing songs and pray.  Tonight we had therapy with all 3 of his therapists and it was wonderful.  They are all wonderful women and love my son well.  It's crazy how much he has changed over the past few months.  How his comprehension has grown.  How his communication has evolved.  My little man is growing up and becoming a boy.

I am officially on vacation - haven't taken one of those in over 2 years.  Tomorrow Jack and I will play and go to the park and then Friday I meet my parents in KY and he will stay with them for 5 days while I come back to St. Louis to spend some time with an old friend.  I know I am going to miss him like crazy, but he will have a great time with grammy and papa.  I already miss him and he hasn't even left yet!  Crazy.  I don't know what the future holds for us - but I am hopeful today.  And we have one another.  And I will fight for him and advocate for him and love him endlessly.  He is the greatest gift I have been given and I know when the next year rolls around I will be amazed yet again at how much he has changed.  Sometimes I wish I could just stop the clock and soak up every second of who he is right now. I wonder if I will remember how chubby his thighs are, or what his laugh was like when he was 2, or all the little things that I love so much right now.  I hope I remember it all - and I think this blog and all the pictures I take will help.   He is funny and goofy, he is smart, he is so stinkin cute and mischievous, he is a ladies man and he loves being the center of attention.  He is not shy like me (I used to be really shy) and he knows how to laugh well.  He loves music and to dance and he is motivated and determined and inquisitive and he is a lover.  He loves to hug and kiss and wrestle and I know he gets that from me :)  I love my sweet, beautiful son.  How blessed and lucky I am to have him!!! I can't wait to celebrate his 2nd birthday and the ways we both have grown in the past year.  It will be a good day!

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