Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Monday, March 29, 2010

Curse of Comparison

"wow, he is already sitting up"  "look she is holding her bottle"  I wonder when Jack will do such and such like her/him.

The curse of comparison.  We all do it, and I am no exception.  I find myself constantly comparing Jack to other children his own age and even kids a bit older than him focusing on the things he isn't doing yet.  Why do I do this?  Why can't I just remind myself that he will get there and focus on what he is doing.  I suppose it's just our nature and inevitable.  So, I am writing this post to kick my own butt.  To make it my goal to stop comparing my sweet boy and to love all the things he is doing.  And here is what he IS doing:

He is working on holding his bottle, and twice now he has held it all by himself.

He is rolling over like a champ to get what he wants

He is putting more weight on his feet when I hold him up

He is playing with more toys and transferring objects from hand to hand

He is smiling and babbling all the time

He is holding his arms out most of the time when he wants to be picked up

He is pushing up tall on both hands when on his tummy

He is gaining more strength in his big boy high chair and not sliding as much

He is doing much better in the bumpo seat at sitting up

He is imitating mouth movements

He is starting to play with his food more and more

Things we are looking forward to:

finger eating, sitting up, meaningful play and complete bottle holding, imitating sounds

I challenge all of us moms to not get lost in the curse of comparison and to enjoy our perfect little ones just as they are and just where they are at, knowing that loving them is the greatest gift we can give.

Have a great Monday!

Friday, March 19, 2010

8 months...almost 9



We went to the park for the first time yesterday...it is just now getting warm enough to be outside here in St. Louis.  I can't wait to be outside more...we are getting tired of this indoor business!  I also can't believe that our little Jack will be 9 months old on Monday.  WOW!  He is growing so quickly.  I just realized this morning that his 9 month clothes are getting too small and we are going to have to start purchasing 12 month!!  How time flies.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Words Matter

Today is Spread the Word to End the Word day. Visit http://www.r-word.org/

The Word I am talking about is "retard" or "retarded". I am not sure how to talk about this. I know I should be offended by that word, especially since I have a child with Down Syndrome. And I guess, maybe I am. However, sometimes I think I am in denial. Jack is now 8 months old and I am just starting to see the gap between him and "normal" babies. He has the most wonderful personality and laughter. He picks up objects and plays with them. He rolls over both ways. He plays with his feet and hands, and puts just about everything in his mouth. He will let me read him books and he eats solid food like a champ. He smiles when he sees me and my husband and he loves to babble and interact. But, today, I am plagued the "isn'ts" What I mean are the things he "isn't" doing. He isn't sitting up yet. He doesn't seem to recognize his name and when you say, "where's Mom," or "where's Dad" he doesn't seem to know what that means. Who cares, right? I mean he probably does know those things and just doesn't know how to respond yet. And if he doesn't know now...he will. He WILL get there. He will sit up. He will crawl and walk. He will say Momma and Dada at some point. And I know in the future, when everyone else's kids will be learning new things that Jack will too, but at a slower pace. But somehow, today I see it. I see that gap and it hurts. I want to fill that gap so that no one ever refers to him as "retarded" or "slow". I never want him to feel inadequate, but I admit right now I feel inadequate. I want to see other people's kids sitting up and have the attitude, "great for them, our Jack will get there" and to be honest, most of the time I do. But today, for whatever reason, I am a little jealous. And the fact that I am supposed to campaign against the use of the R-word, brings the reality that my son is different and that some stupid person will most likely use it at some point to describe him. And that hurts my heart and makes me cry. So, I ask you, from the bottom of my heart and soul to watch your speech and to teach your children well. My Jack is not that word. And no other person is that word. That word is typically used as an insult. I will not insult anyone with that word. I will find better, more loving terminology. I ask the same of you. And right now I think of my wonderful, special, sweet sweet Jack. I will protect him with my speech of others as well as my speech of him. I will do what I can, so that when he is inevitably called by that word, that he will know it's falseness. He will know that he is smart and funny and wonderful and perfect the way he is.

My husband and I will make that our quest. Thank you for listening to my ramblings and my heart. And thank you for honoring our son.