Tuesday, December 28, 2010

A quick Post

I wanted to post some pics from our Christmas for our families to see.  Christmas was great - one of the best I've ever had. It was just me, Jack and my parents here in St. Louis and was cozy and relaxing.

Enjoy the photos:

It was a lovely Christmas! We hope yours was as well!!  18 month check up today and more posts coming!!

Monday, December 13, 2010


We enjoyed some snow yesterday here in St. Louis.

I took Jack out for a few minutes just to let him experience it.

I don't think he knew what to think.

And my parents come up a week from today and I can't wait!!! Have a great week everyone :)

Friday, December 10, 2010

Unconditional Love

Seasons' Greetings.

I typically love this time of year, but I think it’s going to take a few Christmas’ for Jack and I to get the hang of it.

Tree is up, Stocking are hung and I’ve tried to watch White Christmas a few times.  My sweet Jack is making me remember the important things though.

 Laying under the tree is amazing, apparently!
this kid loves socks!

  No matter your religious background or current standing, I think there is something magical about celebrating Christmas.  Growing up I always wondered how in the world God could love someone like me.  Then I had my Jack and was amazed by the love I instantly had for him.  It’s so bizarre too, cause the love you have for your child is unlike any other.  I mean we grow to love people and we love those we marry over time.  I suppose a few of us have had instant connections, but still the love with our friends, spouses, significant others is a love that grows and even changes.  Not with your child.  As soon as I gave birth to my sweet Jack I knew I had all the love in me that he would ever need.  I knew that come hell or high water, that I would do anything in the world for him.  I loved him instantly with a love that would last a lifetime and he did nothing to warrant that.  He was wrinkly, crying, and only a few minutes old – but I loved him.  And it sank in with me then – that is how God must love me.  I have never done anything to deserve his love or warrant it, but he does anyway.   So I comforted by that this season. 

We went to our local Down Syndrome’s Association Christmas Party last weekend.   

 Jack playing on the mat

Thank goodness my down syndrome soul mates were there – Barrett and Brian.  I won’t lie.  It was hard.  It was very hard.  I cried a lot after coming home.  It was overwhelming seeing so many individuals with all levels of functioning and various ages in the same room.  I looked at Jack and Aiden and thought – surely they will be more like so and so (the higher functioning adults).  I know that is awful to say, but that’s your human response.  You want the best for your child and sometimes the best is clouded with normalcy. 

 Me and Jack, Barrett and Aiden

I know that even if Jack and Aiden are lower functioning that Barrett and I will love them still – that will never change. Our love for them isn’t dependent upon what they do or how they act.  But it’s hard.  The future and the unknown is hard.  And at that party and afterwards I was pretty upset with that extra chromosome.  I was scared of the future and I looked at my sweet Jack (who has 4 signs btw ) and cried – because I want a rich, full life for him.  And I will provide that for him and fight for him to have that.  And no matter what – my love for him will always be as great as the first day we met.  My love for him breaks me in 2 and humbles me to no end.  So this Christmas it will just be me and Jack and I will tell him the story of a baby in a manger and we will read and sing together and start our own tradition.  My folks come up for 2 weeks and I can’t wait.  I can’t wait to hear my dad yell at the TV about football or watch my mom make a mess in the kitchen.  And I can’t wait to wake up Christmas morning with them and my son.  Tears fall. I am blessed.  And we are OK.

Merry Christmas all.  18 month update coming soon!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Friendship and Holidays

I wish I had the words to describe how much I love these 2:
Laura and I have worked together for 2 years and have become very good friends.  Her boyfriend, Chad, moved here in May and I couldn't love him any more than I do.  They were the 1st people I called when you know who left.  They are incredible friends and people.  They are family for me here in the middle of the country.  And what's even more spectacular is that they love my Jack as if he were their own son.  They see Jack more than you know who does and when they walk in the door, Jack completely forgets about me and is ready for Aunt Laura and Uncle Chad.
I wish I had more words - something to give them to show how much they mean to me.  When we are together we laugh and cut up, but inside I feel so much joy and mushiness for them being here.  Being in our lives.  Helping us through this time and loving Jack so well.  And Jack LOVES Chad.  I mean that kid thinks that Chad is magical or something- Laura and I think Chad hides goldfish in his pockets for Jack and that's why...or maybe it has to do with the hair on the face.  Either way - I am happy Jack is connected to another male.  It's good for him.  And hopefully, if Chad and Laura stay in St. Louis a while, they will both be around to teach Jack many things with me.  If I could move them in my house I would.  They are wonderful people and I am so blessed to have them in my life.  I LOVE YOU LAURA AND CHAD!!!!

And Laura just celebrated her 25th birthday (She's such a baby)!  We had cake of course in celebration!

 Pay no attention to my messy kitchen.

And they helped me decorate our tree:
For some reason - the lights on the top don't light up - but that's neither here nor there.  I have to admit - I couldn't have done it without them.  I threw out many ornaments that meant nothing any more and a stocking that said "Dad".  If they hadn't been there I would have probably cried the entire time.  I am so so glad they were there.

And here is the little one exploring the tree:

I am pretty sure Jack has plans to pull it over at some point.  We'll see if he succeeds - hopefully not.  And hopefully our furnace will be repaired by today or tomorrow.  Thanks to Rachel and Todd for letting us stay the night with them and Jamie and Eric for letting us stay possibly tonight!  Another post on more great friends coming in the future.  Tonight -it's Carrie Underwood!!! And Rachel and I are going to rock it out!!!

Happy Hump Day!!