Monday, January 3, 2011

Good Bye 2010

I've been dreading writing this post.  In fact, I have thought about giving up on blogging all together.  I am not sure why - but I guess I feel sort of useless. I feel so lost being a single parent and feel like I have nothing to offer anyone.  Jack is starting to become a "toddler" - you know, get an attitude - bite, hit, pull hair, test his limits and I am angry.  I am angry cause I have to figure out how to discipline him all by myself.  No one is here to help or to offer advice or wisdom. Once again, I feel the loneliness of this single parenting and it sucks.  But, I know I will figure it out and I pray for wisdom so that I can give him healthy limits that will benefit him in the future. 

Christmas was great and so was New Years.  It was great to go out for NYE while my parents kept Jack (Thanks Mom and Dad).  I felt pretty and fun, and that was nice and I danced the night away, and boy was I sore!  I work out - I do the P90 stuff - but on my gosh..I WAS SOOOO SORE from dancing!  It was a blast though and I would readily do it again. 

Here is our gang:

2010 was by far the hardest year of my life thus far.  2009 was rough - getting used to being a mom, navigating Down Syndrome, etc.  2010 started with lots of illnesses for Jack and ended with a divorce.  Wow.  One day, maybe I'll write a book, but for now I'll blog and journal.  I admit I am lonely and squeeze Jack for every ounce of affection I can get.  I miss hugs and kisses and he gives pretty good ones. And I def wonder what the future holds for us.  I admit being the sole provider for him/ us is hard...very hard.

So, here is 2011 - I'll be 29 in March - Yuck!  Jack will be 2 in June!  And here is my bucket list (well, most of it...I can't put everything on here! :)):

1.  Take swimming lessons with Jack
2.  Put the house on the market
3.  Go on a vacation
4.  Complete Chalean Extreme
5.  Run a few races
6.  Do more yoga
7.  Teach Jack to walk - hopefully - he is 26 pounds and starting to kill me!
8.  Set up Special Needs Trust
9.  Go on a date (towards the end of 2011 maybe...def not ready now)
10.  Take time for myself at least twice a month
11.  Go hunting/ shooting - that's right - I want to do this!
12.  Go to more Blues games and go to a Rams game
13.  Get pedicures whenever I want
14.  Go on more play dates w/ Jack
15.  Play Kickball
16.  Get a new camera
17.  Learn and teach more sign language

I think that's it for now - there are more - I have many goals - but they keep me moving.

Also Jack's 18month appt went great.  We have to get more blood work, but he is thriving and doing well!  Go Jack Go!!


  1. I hope you don't give up blogging because I love to find out how both you and Jack are doing. I can't imagine how difficult 2010 was for you and I pray that 2011 will be so much better! I love your bucket list!

  2. Happy New Year! And don't "yuk" 29!!! Enjoy it and when 30 comes along embrace it!!! I'd give anything to be there again.

    Wishing you all the best in 2011. Love your list. keep it where you can see it! And keep blogging!

  3. I'm glad you didn't give up on your blog, it's good therapy in my opinion. I think that 2011 is going to be a great year for you and Jack! I love your bucket list, I hope you do them all!

  4. oh I hope you do continue blogging we would all sure miss you and sweet little Jack. Times arent always easy and can imagine it is harder as a single parent but you are a great mom and role model for other moms out there.

    Glad you had a great night out, you deserve it.
    Great bucket list too...Signing Time is wonderful series ofvideos for signing (i think there are seven) also your speech therapist should be able to help with teaching you sign to help Jack....and always if in it, lol

  5. ....Your theme song should be "she let herself go" by George Strait -just saying =)

    I am also glad you didnt give up on blogging. Truth is you are not the only one in them shoes, you are an inspiration to other single moms. And i promise, things will get better.
    YIkes! I hit 30!!!! NOOOoooooo =)